Gone and Gone
by Player3
Summary: I exist yet I do not. It's strange, to be and not to be. Midnight Halloween fic. Dark, strange, could be crap for all I know at the momment...


Author's note: I don't know and I don't really care... This is just SOMETHING that rolled out. It could have been the candy, the late time, the movie I just watched, or this depressing air that I'm giveing off. I might as well post it but I'm not sure if it makes sense. Warnings for violence and guns and suicide and for this being mind upchuck.

* * *

I wasn't sure where exactly I really was. I never seemed to know anymore. My spirit was bound somewhere in the plane of the afterlife. But I could have been deep in the Pit or high in the Matrix and I wouldn't know the difference. But it felt more like the Pit. Yeah. Pit.

It was a strange sensation. To be but not to be, and literally. I existed, but at the same time I did not. Time blended together; it was meaningless to me now. So much had passed already and I felt no need to count the breems anymore, no need to monitor my time. My existence was only a bane to myself. The never ending sense of unfeeling nothingness and the inability to feel anything physical was maddening. Everything was.

I drifted over my home planet always watching. Watching as great mechs fell, towers toppled, and metal ground was scorched. I had seen many gruesome things and it no longer disgusted me as much as it once did. But as I watch, I think about what I could have done. I had power when I was alive. Not much, but still some. I could have changed things and tried to stop this madness from happening. I could have done something, anything! But instead I only contributed.

Cybertron is only a mere shell of what it once was, and now I see just how pointless our war was. I fought every day in this war against my enemies, but were they really my enemies? What was the point of fighting over something that would only end up like this? What was the point of guns, death, and massacres like this. We wanted power but a price like this and for something like this, what was the point of power?

I wander invisible to the normal cybertronian. Only the souls of those that are dying or dead can see me unless I so choose. I watch as another thirteen mechs rush into battle only to die for their cause. A cause that serves no purpose anymore and could never fix the damage the war has done. I see a mech I once knew in my lifetime lying on the ground holding a hand to his wound looking up at the smoke filled sky. He has a gun in his other hand. One dirty and greatly worn. Some would wonder how it still functioned.

He turns his head to look at the gun in his hand. He looks at it intently and examines it with a strange look on his faceplate. It wasn't hard to tell what he was thinking, but I wanted to talk to him before he carried it out.

I appear in the air, but faintly. My paintwork is barely visible.

"You shouldn't do that you know." It had been so long since I had last spoken. I can't exactly remember when.

The white mech looked up and his blue optics widened for a moment before moving to a look of sadness. He sighs and slumps a bit before speaking. "And now with the hallucinations. My little world just keeps getting better and better." He smiled a crooked little smile that seemed a little out of place among the wreckage. "Well, how is it in Pit? Any better than here?"

I rolled my red optics. "I wouldn't know. Haven't stuck around there. And how's your life?

He looked at me. "About to end I think. If it's going to end someday I might as well end it now and forget about all this. Pit's probably better than this."

"Oh my dear friend Skyfire. You never were meant for war."

"Once upon a time neither were you Starscream." He twirled the gun a bit and raised an optic ridge, "And do my ears deceive me or did you just call me my friend? You must be a hallucination!" He gave a small laugh.

"Yes. Yes I did." I looked down at the poor soul. War has killed all the good from the Golden Age that had been preserved in him.

Skyfire looked at the gun again and held it up to his chasis. Small clicks and whirrs were emitted as the plates slid apart to reveal his spark. He gave his last smile before looking up at me.

"Well, goodbye. Or hello. Which ever way you wish to view it."

The gunshot went unnoticed by the rest of the world. I was probably the only one that would ever know of this. It saddened me, but all I could do was drift away and become invisible once more.


End file.
